Insolent Pixies and Insufferable Girls
by The Matter's Settled
Summary: A meddling Celebi decides that I need assistance in my love life and apparently has no qualms about turning me into a weak and tiny rodent. I really could do without that type of help. SoulSilvershipping.
1. The Meretricious Matchmaker

The Meretricious Matchmaker

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><p>I hate the weak.<p>

And by extension that includes weak Pokémon, which I seem to have a surfeit of. I am eagerly looking for a chance to upgrade my team, because I have been bested three times by my annoying rival Lyra. The first time was outside Cherrygrove city, then again near Ilex Forest and finally in the Burned Tower.

It is bad enough that she is a girl, but even worse she is an intolerable one. For instance, her sense of fashion is alarmingly terrible. Her hat looks like a fluffy marshmallow for goodness sakes. Not to mention the fact that she is incredibly unrealistic or "optimistic" as she might call it. Even worse, she dogmatically insists on treating her Pokémon with kindness and love. Talk about an insufferable girl!

However, the buck stops here. I refuse to rest until I decisively triumph over that girl in a Pokémon battle.

Earlier this morning, I overheard two old men talking near Slowpoke Well and they said that there is a legendary Pokémon that lives in Ilex Forest. To my way of thinking, if I can catch that legendary Pokémon, then I can easily triumph over Lyra in a Pokémon battle. Everyone knows that legendary Pokémon are super powerful and it's that kind of power that I need to infuse my team with.

The problem is that I've been walking around Ilex forest all day and I still haven't found the elusive beast. To be honest, I don't know what I am looking for but I figure that I will recognize it when I find it. After a long and fruitless search, I began to feel extremely tired, so I decided to quickly rest my eyes.

After a few seconds, I quickly nodded off to dreamland. Curiously enough, I started to have the dream about Lyra in a revealing blue bikini.

It was the same dream every time: a dream as enchanting as it was disturbing; as alluring as it was sinister. Essentially, Lyra and I have a race on the beach. She jumps out to an early lead and it becomes apparent that I have no hope of catching her.

Then, to make matters worse, a pink ball of light appears behind me. The glistening orb hunts me down, like a heat seeking missile, and my vision fades to white.

When I open my eyes, I am alarmed to find out that I have turned into a Pichu. At that point, Lyra stops running, picks me up, and carries me across the finish line.

I absolutely hate how that dream makes me feel and I absolutely love how that dream makes me feel. It makes me feel terrible and fantastic, all at the same time.

On one hand, I hate how weak and helpless I am in the dream. I have always held a special disdain for anything weak and there are few things weaker than a baby Pokémon. The only person that you can depend on in life is yourself and if you're weak then you certainly have to depend on others, which is humiliating and awful.

On the other hand, Lyra's touch feels so good- the dream feels so real. To be honest, my mind is vacant when she is touching me. It's like she is transmitting little balls of ecstasy that explode upon contact with my skin.

I always feel this way about the dream: bad enough for me to feel guilty when I wake up but not bad enough for me to want it to stop.

Quite frankly, that dream is the guiltiest of pleasures and no one can know about it- ever.

To my surprise, I was awakened by impudent laughing. I scanned around for the clamorous culprit and started to reach for my Pokeballs in preparation for a battle.

"Put your Pokeballs away," a tawdry feminine voice said. "You don't have the power to defeat me."

"Who are you?" I exclaimed. "And why are you laughing at me?"

All of a sudden, there was a brilliant flash of light and a green pixie like Pokémon appeared in front of me. I recognized that Pokémon as Celebi, the defender of the forest; a Pokémon that is as rare as it is powerful.

I know that this is the Holy Grail: the legend the chatty old men had been talking about. If I could get my hands on Celebi, then I would be one of the most powerful trainers in Johto.

"Stop thinking you can catch me," the pixie snickered. "If I wanted to, I could disappear right now and you would never see me again."

"How are you talking to me," I demanded, undoubtedly in a daze by the surreal events that were taking place.

"Well I am using telekinesis," Celebi said." It allows me communicate my thoughts to you and it also allows me a glimpse or two inside your head".

"Don't you think that's a little private?" I retorted, all the while hoping that this surly Pokémon didn't see my embarrassing dream about Lyra.

"Silver," the legendary Pokémon said, casually saying my name as if we were good friends meeting over coffee.

"What?" I asked, shocked by the casualness of this conversation.

"I like meddling. I'm kind of like of those kids from Scooby Doo but instead of meddling in petty crime, I meddle in people's love lives. Now, care to explain your inappropriate dream about Lyra.

This was dire. I had been found out- by a Pokémon no less. Celebi has a look in her eye that tells me she wants more information. I figure I better start asking the questions before she does.

"What are you talking about?" I responded. "How do you know Lyra?"

"Well," Celebi said, "I saw her pass through the Ilex Forest a few weeks ago. She's a very attractive girl and I can see why you like her."

"I would never like a silly girl like that," I countered. "I mean she wears a marshmallow on her head.

"You want to feed her marshmallows in bed," Celebi smirked. Undoubtedly, Celebi had heard me correctly the first time but she pretended to misunderstand me in order to bring color to my cheeks. Her ploy was more than a little successful.

"Look, you're fiercely blushing" Celebi laughed. "I knew you liked her."

Although I possibly had a small crush on Lyra's body, the attraction stopped there. She would always be weak because she had a penchant for protecting weak things. If I was anything more than a rival to her, then I would become weak by association, which was unacceptable.

"I don't like her," I forcefully told Celebi. Hopefully my adamant tone would convince the pixie.

"Well," Celebi mischievously said; I must be the one that likes her. I am the one that is having a dream about in her a revealing bathing suit and I am the one that says her touch are like little balls of ecstasy.

"Now listen here you insolent green fairy," I spat. "I never said that."

Celebi started to shake her head. "I can read your mind," she taunted. In all my years of matchmaking, I have never seen someone repress such potent feelings of physical attraction."

This entire evening was getting stranger and stranger. Setbacks included, I was still face to face with one of the most powerful Pokémon in the Johto, and so I couldn't say that the evening was a complete waste. However, this Celebi seemed more interested in helping me kiss Lyra then beat her in a Pokémon battle. I would much rather engage in the latter. At best the former endeavor was for dreamland, not for reality.

Celebi started to fly around in a circle as if she was puzzled about something. "So Silver, tell me on a scale of 1-10, ten being the highest, where would you rate Lyra's physical attractiveness?"

I looked at the Time Travel Pokémon. This had to be a dream. Although I possibly favored her sporty body type, I still could never get past that weak, vacillating, "caring" personality of hers.

"I don't like her," I yelled, as if raising my voice would convince the pixie. Unexpectedly, Celebi started to chuckle.

"Then how do you explain your dream," Celebi asked in a voice that was sincerely interested in an honest answer.

Celebi's point was valid and that made the situation all the more frustrating. My guilty pleasure, my intimate dreams of Lyra, had been discovered and I felt incredibly vulnerable.

"I don't know and I don't care," I said. "I never would like someone who has such unbridled sympathy for the weak."

At that moment, Celebi eyes became saucers, as if she was struck with a flash of inspiration. Regardless, I had bided my time long enough; it was time to make this critical capture.

"I'm going to catch you and that's the bottom line," I told Celebi. At that moment, I reached for the pokeball holding my Quilava. I knew grass was weak against fire and I figured that Quilava would give me the best chance for a successful capture.

"You still think that you can catch me," Celebi said with a disappointed sigh. At that instant, I couldn't move my arms any longer and I realized that Celebi was using a psychic attack on me.

"In case you don't understand, I am the one running this show," Celebi said. "Do you think that I woke you up because I wanted to be captured by a novice trainer?"

"Novice," I yelled, screaming so loud that I scared a flock of Pidgey out of a nearby huge oak tree.

"Well I didn't," Celebi said rather smugly. I woke you up so I could help you out with stagnated love life. However, you won't even acknowledge that you like the girl you are having sexy dreams about.

"The dream wasn't that sexy," I countered.

"We both know her bathing suit was a size too small. And I seem to remember a certain Pichu who's mommy must have never told him that starting at girls breasts is rude," Celebi taunted.

For the second time in the evening, my face betrayed me and I blushed fiercely.

"I don't like her," I insisted, although my red cheeks were probably not helping my argument.

Celebi, being so in touch with nature, was a creature who thrived on physical signals. She seemed to take immense pleasure in my second blush and responded by making repeated puerile kissing noises.

"I would never like someone so weak," I insisted. I mustered up my premium frown, to show Celebi that I was indeed serious. If my premium frown didn't deter the pixie then nothing would.

Celebi actually seemed offended, or possibly disturbed, by my premium frown. However, she did have access to the innermost reaches of my mind, so it is all together possible that she was being facetious. The Pokémon gingerly squeezed her fingers as if she believed that that my response was impossible.

"You like her in your dreams," Celebi candidly pointed out. Why is such a leap of faith to think that you will like her in real life?"

"A dream is a dream and reality is reality," I said adamantly.

"What if I blur that line?" Celebi countered with a puckish grin.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Let's say that I make you a Pichu," Celebi said with an ominous, impish and almost sinister smile.

Somehow, I understood that smile all too well. That smile meant Celebi was concocting a twisted plan. That smile meant I was going to become a _weak_ baby Pokémon. That smile meant that Lyra was going to find me in a state of unprecedented weakness. That smile meant that I would find out first hand if Lyra's touch was like little balls of ecstasy. All of a sudden, I didn't feel so good. Still, I had to maintain my poker face.

"I'm never going to say I like her," I told Celebi plainly. "You are grossly underestimating my willpower."

Celebi responded with more infantile kissing noises and a worn joke about kissing in a tree.

Before I could impart with some not so nice words, Celebi started to make a pink energy sphere. Just like in my dream, she launched the radiant pink orb at me and everything faded away to whiteness.

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><p><strong>Reviews are always appreciated. Stay tuned for more fun!<strong>


	2. Lotions and Melons

**Lotions and Melons**

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><p>There is only one thing worse than having a headache.<p>

And that thing would be people being loud when you have a headache.

"That Pichu is like so cute," one girl, who was sporting a coach purse, squealed.

"Like, oh my goodness, you should bid at least 2,000 Pokédollars on him," another girl in ridiculously impractical high heels commented.

"You could like fit him in your purse Tiffany," added a third girl, who had bleached blonde hair.

For a moment, I wondered who they were talking about. However, when I finally gathered up the resolve to open my eyes, I realized things were a lot bigger than they used to be. Then I remembered the words of that insidious pixie.

"Let's say that I make you a Pichu."

Even though I had been forewarned about this uncanny transformation, the realization that I was a tiny yellow mouse was still one a very sobering one. Celebi left me with one lingering question that didn't have a palpable answer.

When could I expect to turn back into a human?

Even through the pain of an inexorable migraine, I could remember Celebi's insolent comments about my rival Lyra. At the end of the day, that girl was a pest, a nuisance, a weakling. Celebi is wasting her time if she thinks for one second that I would ever fall for that girl. Believe me; it just isn't going to happen.

"We'll start the bidding at 1,000 Pokédollars," a man with a shady voice bellowed.

I looked around, more nonplussed than anything, because I couldn't figure out what was happening.

"Like, 4,000 Pokédollars," the girl with the Coach purse barked.

There was an uncomfortable silence among the audience; a silence that was finally broken by the voice of the auctioneer.

"Come on people," he said in a voice that led me to believe he was the type of person who valued money over all else. "This Pichu has a notch on his left ear that makes him exceedingly rare and valuable. Do you people not understand that is a once in a lifetime opportunity?"

I finally understood that I was the one being bid on. Ostensibly I was picked up when I was unconscious in Ilex Forest by this unscrupulous junk peddler and now he was selling me for a quick buck. Almost instinctively, I started to feel my ear and I realized that it was indeed notched.

Then out of nowhere I heard a voice; a voice as insufferable as it was saccharine.

"5,000 Pokédollars," a girl said in a jarringly familiar tone.

I didn't even bother to look at the girl who made the bid. Only one girl had that voice and her name was Lyra. I took a hopeful glimpse over at the Coach girl; maybe she would outbid my insufferable rival.

The Coach girl sighed loudly and looked torn as she stared at her beloved purse. More likely than not, she had a limited amount of disposable income after buying the vanity item. After a moment of pensiveness, she decided not to bid anymore and she left hastily with her clamorous friends.

"Sold," said the sleazy junk peddler, who seemed rather pleased that he managed to squeeze a few more dollars out of the crowd.

It goes without saying that I finally gazed in the direction of the voice, which did indeed belong to Lyra. The first I noticed about Lyra was her deep hazel eyes. There was something about them that was captivating, even hypnotic.

As I looked at the rest of face, I noticed that her lips were pouty and highlighted by her alluring peaches and cream skin. To be honest, it wouldn't be too terrible if she gave me one kiss from those enthralling lips.

"No Silver!" I scolded myself. I was not giving in to that insolent pixie so easily. I was a man. Well technically I was a diminutive yellow mouse but I wasn't going to focus on the semantics of the situation. If I admitted that I liked Lyra, then Celebi would win and I wasn't going to let that happen.

"You are just the cutest thing," Lyra squealed. Before I knew she had picked me up and there was a look in her eye that told me she was about to shower me with "love".

Make no mistake; I was going to have Lyra regret that she ever spent her 5,000 Pokédollars. To Lyra's surprise, (and my own as well because it was my first time doing so) I released a thundershock attack that sent the girl into a state of consternation and confusion.

I bet she got a shock out of that.

Bad puns aside, it is well known among Pokémon trainers that Pichu's shock themselves whenever they perform an electric type move. Curiously enough, while my electric attack did give me a momentary twinge, it actually served as a remedy to my earlier migraine.

If thundershock got rid of my headache and Lyra, then it would officially be my new favorite move.

"Mr. Salesman?" Lyra asked.

"I just want you know that I aim to provide the highest level of customer satisfaction," he stated. "I do everything to please the customer, except offer refunds of course."

"I'm not looking to return him." Lyra remarked.

The salesman looked relieved, almost celebratory, at that statement. My guess was if there was one thing this guy detested, one thing he hated with a passion; it would have to be giving refunds.

"I was just wondering if you had any rubber gloves", Lyra questioned. I know one day this Pichu and I will be the best of friends. However, I really don't like getting shocked and, of course, rubber insulates electricity.

The peddler pulled a pair of rubber gloves out of his backpack that still had the price tag on them. Although I can't be sure, I think the tag said 100 Pokédollars. He ripped the tag off the gloves and furtively tossed it on the ground.

"That will be 1,000 Pokédollars," The Salesman remarked. "And you'd be throwing your money away if you bought them anywhere else."

Lyra paid for the gloves and tried them on. They were hot pink and my intuition told me they could insulate any electric blow I could dish out. However, it takes more than a semi-fashionable pair of gloves to intimidate this Pichu. I was on a mission and I wasn't going to fail.

Armed with her new rubber gloves, Lyra now had the confidence to pick me up. I tried to use another thundershock attack but her new accessory made my attack useless. It was time to reconsider my strategy.

I had a fairly straightforward task to accomplish. To put it another way, I just had to prove to Celebi that I didn't like Lyra. Despite her impishness, I doubted that Celebi would keep me as a Pokémon forever. After I put a damper on her matchmaking dreams, I could continue on with my life. As an added bonus, I might learn a little about Lyra's training style and I could use that inside information to beat her in our next battle.

Proving Celebi wrong would be easier than beating Youngster Joey in a battle.

Lyra picked me up and perkily mentioned something about going to Ecruteak City. Rubber gloves and all, she held me in her arms and carried me the rest of the day. On my end, I focused on ignoring her and I have to say I performed admirably.

However, I might have had a couple of extremely minor mishaps and inappropriate thoughts.

First things first, Lyra was wearing some kind of lotion that smelled incredibly captivating. It was like lavender, fresh strawberries, and mangos. I reluctantly admit that I really like that smell. If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't mind if she occasionally dabbled on the cream.

Okay, okay. So having sensual fantasies about a girl's lotion is a bad thing when you are trying to ignore her. However, if you disregard that diminutive slip-up, then I was a pure and chaste little Pichu.

Ok, ok. I did steal a couple of surreptitious glances at her chest area. To be fair, I was dangerously close to the melons because of the way she was holding me. On the other hand, they were covered up by her red shirt and her blue overalls so they weren't _too _distracting.

Still, I could see the overall shape of her breasts and they were much bigger than I remembered. I wondered if it was because they had gotten bigger or I had gotten smaller.

"Pichu, we are at the Pokémon Center," Lyra said with a sugary voice. "We are going to rest here for the night."

Lyra let me out of her arms and started to do the drudgeries of unpacking.

Meanwhile, I jumped on the bed and pensively stared at the wall. Today was a decent day, save for a few inappropriate thoughts, but I needed to take a stronger stand against Lyra.

"Pichu," Lyra said, "do you want to get in this Pokéball. I promise to let you out first tomorrow morning.

There was no way I was getting in one of those things. I couldn't put my finger on exactly why I felt this way but nevertheless I was taking a resolute position on the matter. Electricity surged thorough my body as I prepared for another thundershock attack.

"Ok, no need to shock me," Lyra, who had briefly taken off her rubber gloves, nervously laughed. "I understand that you don't want to be confined inside a Pokéball. How about we sleep in the bed together?"

While Lyra's pajamas were by no means coquettish, they did show a little more skin then her traveling outfit. Not to mention, her fruity lotion was just as redolent as ever. However, I was not losing to that impudent pixie, so I started to charge up for another thundershock attack.

"So you don't want to sleep together?" Lyra said with a tinge of sadness in her voice. "I guess you still are kind of uncomfortable around me but I insisted on holding you all day. I'm sorry I've been invading your personal space."

I just nodded my head, to confirm her growing fear that she was an incredibly insincere person.

"So do you want to sleep on the floor?" Lyra suggested.

I was on a roll here and I figured this was no time to slow down. It was time for my third thundershock warning.

"Oh," Lyra said. "So you want to sleep on the bed and you want me to sleep on the floor."

I nodded in satisfaction. This Pichu couldn't be subjected to sleeping in a Pokeball or in a sleeping bag. I deserved nothing less than a comfortable bed, one that was Lyra-free no less- lest I fall victim to more feral and hedonistic thoughts.

Much to my surprise, Lyra didn't protest or even grumble about the sleeping arrangements. She simply rolled out her sleeping bag, turned off the lights and soon we both fell into a deep slumber.

"Pichu, wake up cutie. It's already 9:00," a syrupy voice said.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was met by two deep hazel eyes that belonged to Lyra. She must have reapplied that incredibly aromatic lotion because she smelled amazing. She smelled so amazing, in fact, that she sent a anticipatory tingle up my spine.

"So I was doing a lot of thinking about yesterday," Lyra commented.

I tried to shoo away the surfeit amorous thoughts that were filling my increasingly dirty mind. I was not losing to that brazen Celebi.

"So I was hoping we could do something fun, something exciting, something that you like," Lyra elaborated. "And after a lot of thinking, I concluded there is nothing better than a beach day," she giggled.

Well, I supposed the beach wasn't so terrible. There was no rule that I couldn't have fun and ignore Lyra at the same time.

"I deposited all my other Pokémon with professor Elm. It's just going to be me and you today."

Lyra opened the curtains to the window and indeed a pristine sandy beach was right outside. This day might not be so bad after all!

"I've been dying to test out my new swimsuit," Lyra added. "It's a little small but I love the color. What do you think Pichu?"

I was mortified when Lyra discarded the pajama robe she was wearing. My rival was wearing virtually the same bathing suit from my dream; the small blue one that was a size too small.

I have never been excited and terrified before. However, right now that would be the best way to describe the profusion of emotions that were swirling haphazardly inside my head.

"Are you happy about swimming Pichu?" she asked. "Let me give you a hug."

My eyes were fixated on Lyra and blissful tingles of expectation were surging, rhythmically dancing, up and down my spine.

This certainly wasn't part of the plan.

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><p><strong>Silver really is a naughty Pichu, isn't he? Chapter 3 is going to be fun. Pichu has more dirty thoughts and Celebi is back and more brazen than ever.<strong>

**I want to thank everyone who is subscribed to this story. I noticed there are a fair number of you. I want you to know that I plan to finish this story. My update speed is unlikely to impress anyone but I'm usually pretty good about finishing things that I start. Not to mention, I love this couple. SoulSilvershipping is awesome.**

**See you guys next time!**


	3. Hugs and Kisses

**Hugs and Kisses**

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><p>I tried to run away from Lyra's embrace. I tried to use thundershock on Lyra in order to immobilize her. I even tried to cry out for help but for one reason or another my body stopped taking orders from my brain. However, serendipitously, I was rescued by an unexpected person.<p>

And that person happened to be Lyra herself.

"Oh I'm sorry Pichu," Lyra cried. "I forgot that you are uncomfortable with me touching you. I won't touch you anymore until you want me to."

I was face to face with Lyra and her deep hazel eyes. Tingles, a fusion between ripples of ecstasy and pangs of anticipation, were surging through my whole body and I wondered if Lyra was doing this, or if it was just part of being a Pichu. I refused to believe the former and somehow I wasn't convinced by the latter either.

"Let's go swimming Pichu," Lyra said. "You can follow me on foot. I won't insist on holding you in my arms anymore."

I followed Lyra on foot all the way to ocean. Because she was already in her bathing suit, she just ran into the water and motioned for me to follow.

I hesitated, primarily because I was not confident in my swimming skills. Granted, I was an adequate swimmer in my human body but I was less than positive those skills would transfer over to this current body.

"Don't be afraid," Lyra yelled, her voice booming over the water. "I'm right here to save you in case anything bad happens."

So, for lack of a better option, I ran in the water and put my life in the hands of a girl who wears a marshmallow hat. However, I was pleasantly surprised how easily swimming came to me, especially considering the fact that I was an electric Pokémon and not a water one. It was an incredibly natural effort and truth be told, I felt more comfortable swimming in this body than I ever did in my old one.

"You're a natural Pichu," Lyra commented and she supplemented her praise with a gratuitous wink.

For one reason or another, I felt heat rise to my cheeks right after the girl winked at me. I started blushing fiercely and any attempts to subvert the problem did nothing but exacerbate it.

"Pichu," Lyra said with concern in her voice, "Is there something wrong with your face. It is redder than a Tamato Berry."

I quickly turned my back to Lyra and started to swim away. There was no way I could be blushing like a schoolgirl over one little wink. Everything that had happened in the past few days was completely outrageous. I was turned into a tiny little mouse by a shameless pixie and now I was blushing uncontrollably over a little wink from my rival.

With all of these thoughts swirling around inside my head, I didn't pay proper attention to swimming. As a result, I was blindsided by what I am embarrassed to admit was a rather modest wave. The saltwater flowed into my mouth but instead of going down my esophagus, it gushed down my trachea. I began to struggle for air and even a severe coughing fit wasn't removing the seawater from my lungs fast enough. I started to become incredibly dizzy and then I blacked out.

* * *

><p>I awoke to find Lyra staring at me with her strangely captivating hazel eyes. Her face was wet with saltwater but I couldn't tell if that was from the ocean or if she had been crying.<p>

"I'm sorry I didn't watch over you closer Pichu," she sniffled. I was now certain that she had been crying and pretty intensely at that.

"I've been nothing but irresponsible and neglectful toward you," she continued. Yesterday I was smothering you and today I ignored you. It was my fault you almost drowned. I should have had more sense than to let a baby Pokémon swim alone in the ocean. It was just that you were swimming so well; I thought you could…" her voice trailed off.

Lyra continued to cry and showed no signs of turning off the waterworks any time soon. I actually felt bad for her. Trainers weren't completely responsible for everything bad that happened to their Pokémon. The way I see it, is that Pokémon are responsible for their well-being also. I tapped Lyra on the thigh and told her "don't feel bad" but more likely than not all she heard was "Pichu, Pi, Pichu".

"Pichu," Lyra said, "You are so sweet."

Then, without warning, she scooped me up in her arms and proceeded to tightly hug me. Surprise quickly gave way to ecstasy as her warmth transferred to my body. The redolence of her lotion, the strawberries and mangos combo with a hint of lavender, worked to temporarily replace my apprehension about the situation with the feeling of pure bliss.

To be honest, I was kind of enjoying this.

"I'm back," called out a familiar voice from the sky.

I eagerly looked around for the owner of that impudent voice but I was alarmed to discover that I couldn't pinpoint the origin of the sound. However, when I looked at Lyra, I noticed that she wasn't moving. As a matter of fact, nothing was moving, not even the waves of the ocean. I tentatively jumped out of Lyra's embrace and started to analyze the situation. Esoterically enough, everything seemed to be frozen in time, as if I was living in a movie and someone had decided to push pause.

"Come out Celebi," I commanded. It was common knowledge that Celebi could manipulate time and therefore she most likely responsible for this distortion of the space-time continuum. Anyway, I could recognize that insolent and strident voice in my sleep. Without further hesitation, Celebi decided to reveal herself and appear in front of my face.

"Did I just hear someone say they are enjoying a Lyra hug?" Celebi teased.

"I said kind of," I countered.

Celebi chortled. "Well I know you enjoyed that Lyra kiss you got earlier today."

"What kiss?"

"The kiss that you pretended to drown for," Celebi elaborated, with an increasingly puckish look on her face.

"I was actually drowning, you pathetic pixie. And there certainly wasn't anything resembling a kiss with marshmallow head. I would never let her kiss me. I have my standards you know."

"You're not disciplined, only inhibited," Celebi said with a wink. "We both know that you weren't really drowning today. You just pretended to drown, so Lyra would give you C.P.R. That's the oldest cliché in the book.

"I was really drowning. Contrary to what you might think, I don't have feelings for marshmallow head. Plus, I don't even remember this kiss you are talking about."

"Whatever," Celebi said. "I could have sworn you cracked a smile when Lyra pressed her lips against yours."

"I was unconscious," I pleaded.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"But I really…"

"Listen here," Celebi added. "I personally have no problem with what you're doing but not everyone is willing to take such a lax stance on your perversion."

"I'm not doing anything wrong. You're the one who turned me into a Pokémon. You're the one who is wrong."

Celebi was offended enough at my implication of her wrongdoing to glower in my direction but not offended enough to let the accusation interrupt her train of thought. From what I could gather, Celebi was one of those people (or Pokémon) that believed they could never do anything wrong.

"Look, I understand you're a pervert."

"I'm not a…"

"You like boobs, supple skin, and fruity lotion. I get it," Celebi smiled. "Just try to tone it down a little bit. Everything in moderation you know. Anyway, the ukulele Pichu, an old friend, is very upset at you."

"The ukulele what," I asked.

"The ukulele Pichu," Celebi continued, as if I was the only person in Johto who hadn't heard of him. "This venerable Pokémon helped his partner Ben save the world from the Pokémon Pinchers. He is also the president of the group "Principled Pichus", which is a group that aims to instill family values in the Pichu community. If memory serves correctly, he mentioned something about you being a pervert and disgracing Pichu's everywhere. Here I'll let you talk to him yourself."

And then Celebi summoned the ukulele-toting Pichu right in front of me, no doubt by further manipulation of the time space continuum. By the way he was glowering at me; you might think I had taken his lunch money, if Pokémon used money that is. It was time to put this diminutive rat in his place.

"Where do you get off my calling me a pervert," I yelled.

"Probably the same place you get off_ being_ one," he countered. This guy was cagey. Perhaps, he wasn't as much as a pushover as he appeared to be. It figures that Celebi's friends would be as brazen as the pixie herself.

"Look here Silver," the Ukulele Pichu continued. "You are disgracing Pichu's everywhere with your wanton perversion. Why just the other day I was talking to my friend Rattata and you know what he said. He asked me why his cousin saw a Pichu ogling a human girl's breasts and sniffing her lotion like a freak.

The outlandish claims left me nonplussed: I was too embarrassed to be angry and too angry to be embarrassed. Perhaps, I did those things once or twice but I certainly wasn't making a hobby out of sniffing Lyra or anything.

"You know else he did," Celebi added with a smirk on her face. "He pretended to drown so Lyra would give him C.P.R."

"I'm not surprised," Pichu continued. "Silver is an indubitable pervert. You were telling me he never had a girlfriend as a human and I can see why now."

This was completely outrageous. "How do you know about that me Celebi?"

"Elementary my Dear Watson," Celebi responded in a facetious and almost playful tone. "I am a psychic Pokémon and a legendary one at that. Don't tell me you didn't know that I can read your mind at will."

"Are you sure that hooking him up with Lyra is a good idea," Pichu added. "I don't know the girl but no girl wants a pervert as a boyfriend."

"We don't call them perverts Pichu, we call them eager or sometimes we call them earnest but we don't call them perverts. It's not politically correct. Anyway, my flawless matchmaking skills tell me that they are the perfect match for each other. On one hand, Lyra is the type of girl that is really in touch with her feelings but sometimes she is out of touch with others feelings. For instance, when she was hugging Silver, she forgot about her promise to give Silver a little more space. On the other hand, Silver is out of touch with his own feelings but he is better than most at understanding others feelings.

"That is a robust analysis," Pichu remarked. "I guess they would make a cute couple."

"Of course," Celebi beamed. What else did you expect from an elite matchmaker?"

"You better turn me back into a human this instant," I demanded. "I don't like Lyra and I don't appreciate you guys talking about me like I'm not here."

"So you're going to look me in the eye and tell me that you're not attracted to Lyra and you wouldn't want her as your girlfriend," Celebi stated.

Much like a wrap attack from an angry Onix, the question took my breath away. If I was being honest with myself, then I would have to admit that I was attracted to Lyra's body. However, the attraction stopped there. Considering her weak, vacillating and for one reason or another irritating personality, I would never even entertain the possibility of being her boyfriend.

"Fine, I like her a lot but she's not girlfriend material," I insisted.

Blushing fiercely, probably over the self-efficacy boost my pseudo-confession gave her, Celebi started to fly around in a circle and sing that insufferable song about two lovebirds sitting in a tree.

"What part about she's not girlfriend material, don't you understand," I solicited.

"You are a guy. You like a girl. You have no girlfriend. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that she is weak, naïve, and insufferable."

"So you're a lotion sniffer, a gawker and a pervert," the insolent pixie added. "We all have our faults."

"I looked twice and sniffed twice. Considering that she was holding me for the better part of the day, that's not too bad," I countered.

"Cool story bro, you should publish it," Ukulele Pichu, who hadn't been out of the conversation for a while, adjoined.

"How about I publish a story about taking your ukulele and sticking it where the sun don't shine."

Pichu was obviously taken aback by what I said and he glowered at me to let his disdain be known.

"Send me back home," the offended Pichu said. "I can't believe someone would talk to a hero like that. I have you know that I helped save the Oblivia region you boob-gawking, lotion sniffing pervert.

"It's ok," Celebi told the Ukulele Pichu who was simmering at this point. Her attempts to calm him down were futile and he mumbled more insults, none of which I could really hear.

To be honest, I didn't know he was offended so easily or I probably wouldn't have said that. You know what they say, don't dish it out unless you can take it. Besides, the yellow rat was getting on my nerves. He didn't even have a cool notched ear like me; all he had was a cheap, wanna-be guitar.

After Pichu was sent home, Celebi looked at me as a mother might like look at one of her kids that she was about to scold.

"That was mean," Celebi started to lecture.

"Whatever."

"You can apologize later," Celebi continued. "I'll let you in on a secret. Lyra has a thing for you. Likewise, even though they your feelings are repressed, I noticed that you have a thing for her as well. Because of your phlegmatic attitude toward accepting your feelings, I figured that I would jump-start the process."

"I like her body, and that's it," I insisted.

"You're personalities match perfectly," Celebi said. "But since you are being unbelievably dogmatic about this issue, I'll just keep you as a Pichu until you realize what an awesome couple you and Lyra make.

"There must be someone who can stop you from abusing your power? I'm going to tell Lugia or maybe even Ho-Oh? "

Celebi shrugged. "Good luck finding them. Besides, they love me. I'm like their cute little niece who can do no wrong. On the other hand, you're a perverted Pichu who just told the laudable Ukulele Pichu to stick his ukulele up his butt. Who do you think they are going to believe?"

As much as I hated to admit it, Celebi's logic was airtight.

"Before I leave, I want to give you a special gift," Celebi said. "That gift would be a song."

"Silver and Lyra sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." And with the puerile song complete, Celebi left, perhaps back to Ilex Forest or possibly to go torment another soul with her contemptible matchmaking schemes.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 is a smidgeon longer, than the previous two chapters. I'm trying to find the right chapter size, so let me know your opinion about chapter length. A special thanks to Shiny Kirby for the recommendation about Ukulele Pichu.<strong>

**Is Celebi an awesome pixie who can do no wrong or has she taken things too far? Is Silver a perverted Pichu or are his reactions understandable? Does the Ukulele Pichu deserve an apology? Drop a review with your opinion on those questions or anything that's on your mind, if you feel so inclined.**


	4. Silver and Gold

**Silver and Gold**

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><p>After Celebi unfroze time, I decided to rest on an ostentatious hot pink beach towel that Lyra brought while Lyra herself decided to continue swimming. After nearly drowning, I decided it was best to stay out of the water. Lyra, on the other hand, was unintentionally splashing a glowering Tentacool with her undisciplined, even wild, style of swimming. The girl is undoubtedly one of the most wayward people that I have ever met. However she is completely unpretentious which makes her idiosyncrasies funny and in some ways cute.<p>

Wait did I just call Lyra cute? I must be losing my mind. The word I was looking for was annoying. This whole "being turned into a Pichu thing" has left me discombobulated.

To be honest, a part of me was angry, a part of me was frustrated and a part of me was confused. I understood the angry and frustrated parts; they were easy. Obviously, I was angry because I had been changed into a diminutive yellow mouse against my will by a snarky pixie and I was frustrated because there was no palpable way to change back. The third part, my overarching feelings of confusion about the situation, the last piece of the puzzle so to speak, was the feeling that I couldn't explain away.

I want to believe that Celebi is a jerk, or at the very least incredibly officious, and I guess it is quite possible that she is all of those things. However, a part of me wondered why Celebi decided to focus so much of her energy on me. I imagine there are hundreds, possibly thousands, of people who travel through Ilex Forest daily, and I am quite uncertain about why Celebi decided to reveal herself to me. Even more uncanny was the fact that she acted like knew me before we met. Moreover, she seemed to have an intense, almost singular, focus on my relationship with Lyra. It was almost like she had been debriefed about the situation beforehand and had been unleashed to torment me about that single issue.

Maybe I am being paranoid.

However, for some reason, the idea just won't leave me alone. But the problem is I cannot imagine anyone who would want, or for that matter would have the capacity, to do such a thing. For one thing, I could instantly rule out Lyra. She was much too silly and naïve to pull off such a ridiculous stunt. The only other person that would have the motivation to play this type of prank on me would be Gold.

And then all of a sudden I remembered a conversation I had with the puckish boy a few months ago.

"_Why are things like this," Gold remarked sullenly._

"_Like what," I responded. "I trounced you in a Pokémon battle like I do every time. Are you asking why I am such a great trainer or why you are such a weak one?"_

"_So you got lucky. You know it wouldn't hurt to develop some personality." _

"_If by personality you mean being loud and obnoxious like you then I'll think I'll pass."_

"_Look, you are too uptight," Gold responded while dismissively waving his in my general direction. "In my humble opinion you need a girlfriend and I have just the girl."_

"_Girlfriends are for the weak. The last thing I need some an anchor dragging me down and impeding my dream of becoming a Pokémon master."_

"_This girl happens to be a better trainer than you and as a matter of fact she has beaten you several times," Gold smirked. "If anything you will be holding her back."_

"_I don't lose Gold. As a matter of fact, the only person I can remember losing to is that pesky girl with the stupid hat and that is because she gets incredibly lucky when we battle. Wait… you aren't talking about me hooking up with that marshmallow head are you?"_

"_Yeah," Gold responded. "And I've told you a thousand times that her name is Lyra, not marshmallow head. She has the biggest crush on you and I'm sure that you would like her if you gave her a chance. Plus it's not like you are beating other girls off with a stick. Girls find it unattractive when a guy has a permanent scowl etched on his face you know."_

"_First off, smiling is for the weak. Secondly, Lyra is the most annoying and clumsy girl on the planet. Last time we battled she tripped over a Geodude and fell right on top of me."_

"_Oh yeah," Gold said in an almost pensive tone that was unusual for him. She told me about that."_

"_When were you talking to marshmallow head? I mean Lyra."_

"_I told you a thousand times Mr. Never Listens- we lived next to each other for TEN years. We are like best friends."_

"_I guess you may have mentioned something about that. Still, excuse me for not memorizing every detail about marshmallow head's life."_

_Gold grinned in a way that made him appeared to be up to something sinister. "You two are the quirkiest people that I know. You would be the perfect couple."_

"_How dare you put me in the same category as her? We are nothing alike."_

"_But that's where you wrong," Gold responded with an impish grin. You both are stubborn, especially when it comes to your value systems, and as a result I could imagine you guys fighting all the time as a couple. She would say Jigglypuff is cuter than Pikachu and you guys would argue about it because you both have to be right about those types of things."_

"_Oh yeah; because having silly arguments is the foundation for a great relationship."_

"_Maybe not," Gold countered, "but it's not how most couples operate. You see most couples fight over down-to-earth things like where they are going to eat, why a seemingly superfluous clothing purchase was made, or perhaps why the Goldenrod gym leader left her clothes at my house."_

"_Wait, why were Whitney clothes at your house? What did Crystal say about this?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it," Gold sulked. "It was just an innocent pool party. These days all of my disposable income is dedicated toward getting Crystal back. I can't even afford a can of lemonade these days. I have to buy fresh water and it's closer to repulsive than fresh."_

"_Fresh water isn't that bad," I responded, to which Gold gave an inimical, even disgusted, look. Personally, I liked the stuff better than soda pop and lemonade._

"_Crystal doesn't like to argue, Gold continued. "When we do have a disagreement it usually turns into a big deal. However, you and Lyra would argue about everything. I can already tell by your dogmatic personalities. It that's type of candor that prevents big blowups before they happen."_

"_You are outrageous. I mean completely outrageous. Where do you get these theories?"_

"_I read it in a dating magazine. Besides, Lyra is pretty cute. I wouldn't mind inspecting those melons, if you know what I mean."_

"_I hope you know you are incorrigible. Besides, if you like Lyra so much why don't you ask her out Mr. Melon Inspector?"_

_Gold look slightly offended. "There is nothing wrong with being a connoisseur of the female body. Lyra's cute and all but I told you that I have my eyes on Crystal."_

"_Whatever, I am not going out with marshmallow head because you read something in woman's magazine at the grocery store checkout aisle. That girl is the second most annoying person on the planet; behind you of course. If I had her as my girlfriend and you as my friend then I would probably be banging my head against the wall every day."_

"_You'll be banging something," Gold chuckled in a somewhat tawdry voice. And it won't be the wall."_

"_Is sex all you ever think about?"_

"_No. Well, maybe. Gold responded in a tentative voice. "Anyway, I know you like Lyra so there's no use denying it. You should let your natural feelings come out instead of repressing them."_

"_I don't like her dude!"_

"_You haven't spent enough time with her," Gold said. "Once that changes, you might be surprised"._

"_Well I'm sorry to inform you that won't be changing."_

"_We'll see," he chuckled. And with that ominous reply he walked away._

That flashback left me with one, possibly two, takeaways. The first, of course, is that Gold is an indubitable pervert and unfortunately he might be rubbing off on me. Secondly, and perhaps more urgent, is the fact that Gold might be responsible, in one way or another, for turning me into a tiny yellow mouse. It was a tenuous lead at best but at least it gave me a general sense of direction.

By this time, Tentacool was spraying a retreating Lyra in the back with water gun. The girl was swimming toward land at a frantic pace and making a sound that I believed was a fusion between an imperative for Tentacool to stop and girly squeals. When Lyra got out the water, she made a beeline for me.

"Tentacool is being mean to me. Go over there and defend my honor. Make Tentacool apologize, she giggled."

I wanted to mention that she was the one who launched a preemptive, albeit unintentional, strike against a wild Pokémon so it wasn't unreasonable to expect some form of retaliation. I also wanted to tell her that, even if I did manage to get an apology, she wouldn't be able to understand it. More importantly I wanted to mention that there was no way I was going to negotiate with an irritated and poisonous jellyfish.

Unfortunately, there was no way to articulate this.

So I decided to ignore Lyra but ignoring Lyra was kind of like ignoring a debt collector. She would just keep bothering me until she got a response that she was satisfied with. However, Lyra became impetuous, grabbed me, and carried to water's edge where the irritated Tentacool was swimming.

"Call him over here," Lyra instructed. "I don't want you going in the water after what happened earlier.

"Hey Tentacool," I yelled. "We need to have a talk."

Almost without hesitation, the Pokémon swam over to the water's edge. I couldn't tell if was glowering or smiling but my intuition led me to believe that it was most likely the former. Not to mention, that he was a lot bigger than I thought he was; although that could have something to do with the fact a part of me still thought I was Silver and my depth perception was out of alignment.

"We need to talk about what happened earlier," I said in the most friendly, yet firm, tone I could muster.

"What is it mate?" Tentacool said.

"I know this is going to sound weird but can you pretend to apologize to that girl. I know she can't understand it but you can say something random if you feel so inclined. It's not like she can understand it anyway."

"What's all this then mate? She was splashing me you know."

"Yeah I know she was being silly. But can you just apologize?"

"Oh I get it," Tentacool said. "You are trying to impress her by forcing me to make an apology. I mean she is pretty cute. But you know that you are a Pichu and she is a human girl. I'm sorry to tell you that type of behavior is frowned upon around these parts."

"I am a human," I vigorously protested. "For your information I was changed into a Pichu by a Celebi who thinks that I like Lyra. Furthermore, she carried me over here; I am not doing this out of a sense of chivalry or anything like that.

"Who's Lyra?"

"She is the girl who was splashing you."

"So let me get this straight", Tentacool said in a voice that was dripping with sarcasm. "Celebi, a legendary Pokémon, the defender of the forest, changed you in a tiny mouse Pokémon to help you with you love life."

"Yeah that's right."

"How long did it take you to think of that story?"

"I know it sounds crazy but it's true."

"Why don't you find yourself a nice Pichu girlfriend or maybe a Clefa?"

"I am human that was turned into a Pokémon by an officious Celebi. How many times do I have to tell you that before it registers?"

Then Tentacool stopped responding to me and started trying to make a rap song around the words perverted Pichu.

"About sex don't let him teach you. His name is perverted Pichu."

I was livid, to say the least, so I decided to unleash my thundershock attack on the bothersome Jellyfish. He groaned in pain, scowled at Lyra and me, and muttered a few swear words before swimming back to the ocean.

"You were great Pichu." Lyra insisted. "Tentacool even decided to apologize before he swam back to the ocean."

I didn't want to tell her what he really said and I don't think it was possible anyway. So, I just nodded my head and Lyra, who is the empress of random, abruptly picked me up and started loudly singing pop songs, as we walked back to the hotel.

On the way back I thought about many things, chiefly Gold and his possible connection to Celebi. Perhaps he owned Celebi and unleashed the meddling Pixie on me in order to torment me. On the other hand, it was difficult for anyone to get their hands on a legendary Pokémon, especially someone as flighty and undisciplined as Gold. I was so enthralled with this problem that I didn't even mind when Lyra climbed in the big bed after me. Before, I had been hesitant to sleep in the same bed as her but, as you know, I was a Pichu and it didn't really bother me anymore. Besides it's not like she was touching me or anything.

I woke up early in the morning, perhaps around 6:00, and I felt something drastic had changed. Indeed, I was no longer a Pichu and I had changed back to my human body. I was ecstatic until I remembered the sleeping Lyra next to me.

This would be hard to explain.

* * *

><p><strong>So Silver is in somewhat of an awkward position. Will he able to escape undetected or will Lyra notice him? Silver better be extra quiet because this author says there is an Officer Jenny patrolling the halls and she isn't shy about making arrests. Also we will officially meet Gold next chapter.<strong>

**Stay tuned until next time. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**By the way, this story has one, maybe two, chapters left. I have some ideas for a new story but it's always good to hear different ideas. If anyone has any suggestions, especially but not exclusively with shippings that I have listed on my profile, then please PM me. Also if anyone has suggestions for me to improve my stories then I would love to hear it. I always want to find ways to improve my writing.**


	5. All's Well That Ends Well

**All's Well That Ends Well**

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><p>My heart was pulsating, pounding against my chest as an unruly prisoner might pound on prison bars, and every breath that I managed was methodical yet tentative. My goal, my only objective, was to leave this room without waking Lyra up. I gingerly slipped out of bed and tip-toed silently all the way to the door. For a moment, it looked like I would be able to make a clean getaway. For just a moment, it looked like Lyra would never be able to ask the unanswerable question of why I was skulking around in her room in the middle of night. However, just as I was ready to make my escape, I tripped over a wire, perhaps a computer cord, and I fell down with a clamorous thud.<p>

"Who's there?" Lyra, who was struggling to find a light switch, cried out.

I didn't say a word; almost as if not speaking would make this problem disappear. Of course, it didn't and Lyra inevitably found a light switch.

"Silver what are you doing in my room at 6:14 in the morning?" Lyra chastised.

"You see it's a really long story involving Pichu and…"

"Where is Pichu?" Lyra said. "Did you eat him?"

"You need a head examination. Of course, I didn't eat him."

"If you were hungry I would have made you pancakes," Lyra continued. "Now spit Pichu out right now before I have to get rough with you."

"You don't seem to understand how the human digestive system works. Besides, believe it or not, I was Pichu the whole time. I was turned into the rodent by an impish Celebi and this morning when I woke up, I found out that I was a human again."

"And you say that I need my head examined," Lyra said with a wry grin on her face. "Now reveal the location of Pichu this instant or prepare for battle."

"Are you nuts? I'm not going to fight a girl."

"Espeon go," Lyra debonairly responded. "Now use your psychic to render Silver immobile while I give him the tickling of a lifetime."

"No, anything but that," I begged.

Lyra, who was perhaps having too much fun considering the circumstances, jumped on top of me and gave me a wayward grin.

"I've been waiting to do this a long time," Lyra said, instantly wanting to take back the words immediately after she said them.

"What do you mean a long time?" I demanded. At that moment I looked at Lyra's face and it was as red as a Tamato Berry. Her deep red blush was probably the most intense I had ever seen up to that point and perhaps the deepest I have ever seen since.

Marshmallow head shyly looked down at the floor, poked her fingers together and incoherently starting mumbling. I couldn't hear what she said but I think I heard the words "I kind of like you" somewhere in the incoherent jumble.

And that was a good thing. My stomach, which had been extremely nervous as a result of trying to escape Lyra's room undetected, starting doing flips, and I was almost certain that I felt my heart grow a little bigger. It wasn't three times bigger like in that sappy Christmas movie about a green monster but it grew nonetheless. However, my happiness, as happiness tends to be, was short-lived as Officer Jenny kicked down the door, like she was the star of a bad detective movie, or perhaps a bad detective novel that never got the chance to be turned into a movie.

"We've got you Silver," Officer Jenny stated matter-of-factly. "Resistance is futile. You are being arrested for Pokémon larceny; anything you say can and will be used against in a court of law."

Although it was quite out of her character, Lyra was laconic during this whole process, possibly because she was truly speechless or maybe because she was afraid that something she said actually would be used against me in a court of law. Either way, I was not going to take this injustice lying down.

"Listen here Officer Jenny, I did not steal Pichu."

"Pichu," the policewoman answered with a wry look on her face. "I was talking about the Cyndaquil that you pilfered from Professor Elm's laboratory a few months back. I should have figured that you'd be attempting to steal more Pokémon."

I grinned sheepishly, a natural reaction, but inwardly I was cursing myself for my mistake. It is true that I did steal Cyndaquil a few months ago but that was because no Pokémon professor would give me a chance to raise a Pokémon, considering I had no references, no friends, no family, no-one to hold me accountable. At first, I viewed Pokémon as tools of war, creatures to be used to advance my own selfish ambitions, but slowly I came to realize that Typhlosion and my other Pokémon were my friends. Even more so, I started to view Lyra as a friend, perhaps as more than a friend, over the last few days.

"You'll have plenty of time to perfect that pensive stare behind bars," Officer Jenny chastised as she forcefully handcuffed me and led me away to the police cruiser, a seemingly heartbroken Lyra shadowing my every step until I was locked away in the car and she could follow me no longer.

The drive to jail was a quiet one, my mind filled with shock and disbelief as opposed to schemes and contingency plans, not that the latter would have necessarily been fruitful anyway. Of course, life has a funny way of playing tricks on you and behind cold iron bars, the steel beams that held a dozen or so rowdy bikers who probably refused to pay their bar tab, was no one other than Gold.

"Silver," Gold cried out, tears of joy streaming down his face. "You came to rescue me."

"Well not exactly," I lamented. "As a matter of fact, I'm being locked up as well."

The excitement on Gold's face disappeared almost as quickly as it came. The boyish enthusiasm on his face evaporated into what I perceived as genuine curiosity.

"So what happened?" Gold asked. "And don't leave out any juicy details."

"Tell me what happened to you first," I countered. If I was going to tell Gold the extremely intimate, not to mention embarrassing, story about becoming a Pichu and ending up in jail then I definitely needed Gold's embarrassing story first.

"Well, you know how I like to pull pranks?"

"Yeah, I know you're a troublemaker."

"So basically Professor Elm gave me a Master Ball to deliver to Professor Oak. While I was making the trip from New Bark Town to Goldenrod City, the place where Professor Oak's radio show is, I saw a legendary Pokémon along the way. Long story short, I caught that legendary Pokémon with Professor Elm's Master Ball.

"That legendary Pokémon wouldn't happen to Celebi would it," I inquired.

"Yeah how did you know?" Gold asked, apparently stunned that I knew that piece of information.

"You idiot," I yelled, punching the steel bars as hard I could, producing a clamorous sound that startled everyone in the place from the rowdy bikers in our jail cell to officer Jenny and even though I sensed that every eye in the place was on me, it did almost nothing to quell my fury, a rage that stemmed from my humiliating time as a Pichu, a rage that made me want to pummel Gold senseless.

Gold was backing down, inching closer and closer to the cell wall, and I was steadily approaching, my patience just about evaporated at this point. Did I really need to start this conversation?

"I was turned into a Pichu this week. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

"Calm down Silver." Gold implored, flashing a toothy smile, a grin that seemed to mollify my rage for reasons I still can't explain.

"When I caught Celebi, I thought that I would be the strongest trainer in Johto. However, things didn't work out that way."

"What happened?"

You see, Celebi was a handful; a real problem to control, and it didn't respect me because I only had 3 gym badges at the time. She constantly wandered off, pranking people because she felt like it and skipping out on our training sessions. Anyway, I told Professor Elm about the situation and he said that I should take the Master Ball and Celebi to Professor Oak anyway. Celebi ostensibly heard that conversation and next time I let her out of the Master Ball, she just took off, probably not wanting to be subject of Professor Oak's experiments, benign as they may be."

"So how did you end up in jail?"

Gold sighed. "I was riding my bicycle frantically in an attempt to catch Celebi when she flew off. I was so focused on catching up to Celebi that I ran a couple of red lights and Officer Jenny decided to arrest me to teach a lesson.

"You bet I did," Officer Jenny responded, wagging her finger at Gold profusely. "You caused four car accidents, destroyed three restaurants and left the city with a bill of 500,000 Pokédollars. Luckily no-one sustained any serious injuries. And there is no way you were chasing a Celebi kid."

"I was. I was. I was." Gold responded in a puerile way while stamping his foot repeatedly, injuring his case instead of helping it."

"And as for you Silver, we don't kindly to larceny around these parts. Your days of stealing Pokémon are over."

"I know I made a mistake," I pleaded. "But I raised that Cyndaquil into a strong Typhlosion and we are good friends now. Can't you just release me and my friend?"

"Well now that you put that way, I think I will let you guys go free. That story really warmed my heart and restored my faith in humanity."

"I looked at Gold, whose eyes were filled with guileless excitement as he watched Officer Jenny pick up the keys to the jail cell.

"Psyche," Officer Jenny said, and she put the keys back down almost as soon as she had grabbed them. "Did you actually think I was going to let you guys get off that easy?"

That was absolutely pathetic. I can't believe that I fell for that. I slumped down. This would be a long day.

* * *

><p>"Hey aren't we allowed a phone call?" I asked Officer Jenny, suddenly inspired, after several boring and non-eventful hours had passed.<p>

The police officer casually looked up from her magazine, a girly checkout aisle purchase no doubt, the cover filled with racy questions about relationships, dating and sex.

"Sorry boys," Officer Jenny said. "The prisoner's phone's is gone. We had to sell it to pay for the damage that Gold caused the city."

Gold sheepishly looked down at his running shoes.

"Don't worry," I told the crestfallen boy. "Someone will get us out of here. To be honest, I wouldn't even mind if marshmallow head came right now."

At that precise moment, as if by magic, Lyra came through the door and she wasn't alone. Following behind her was Crystal, Professor Elm, and my Typhlosion.

"Silver," Lyra called out. "I came as quickly as I could.

"I've been in here for ten hours."

"I had to get Professor Elm so he could clear your name and I also had to pick up your Pokémon. Did you know they were just abandoned in Ilex Forest? Luckily Kurt, the craftsman from Azalea Town, found your Pokeballs on a walk in Ilex Forest and he took all your Pokémon back home and took care of them for you.

"That was nice of him."

"Well, he's sending you a bill in the mail. Actually he's sending me a bill in the mail because you don't have an address," Lyra opined.

"Your address, your problem. Just think of the bill as a fine for wearing such a dorky hat"

"You know I don't have to help you out. I brought Professor Elm to clear your name. He doesn't like boys who are mean to me."

"Crystal," Gold cried out, interrupting our exchange. "Please get me out of here. I know you have 500,000 Pokédollars. Bail me out and I'll do anything for you."

"You mean you'll stop flirting with other girls."

"I'll do anything but that."

"I see," Crystal smiled. "You plan to pay off 500,000 thousand Pokédollars by yourself. Good luck with that.'

"I don't flirt that much. You shouldn't be so mean."

"You'll flirt with anything that has a pulse and remotely looks like a girl. Does the name Bugsy ring a bell?"

"Let's stop this lover's quarrel," Professor Elm, who was quiet up to this point, said. "I'll bail you out Gold. 500,000 is nothing for a wealthy scientist like me."

Gold and Crystal simultaneously blushed at the term "lover's quarrel" being used to describe their argument.

"Officer Jenny, I do not wish to press charges on Silver for his theft of Cyndaquil. Look at this Pokémon, the beaming Typhlosion you see evolved from the very Cyndaquil that Silver stole. He raised it to be a healthy and strong Pokémon and he treats his other Pokémon with kindness as well."

After some hesitation and some paperwork, Officer Jenny finally released us. As I left the police station with my friends and walked outside, I gazed at the amazing sunset, the sky bathing in glorious yellows, reds, and purples, reminding me of the value of small pleasures in life.

Before all this happened, I just wanted to be stronger than Lyra. Now, I just wanted to be near her. I liked her caring personality. I liked her ability to engage in witty banter. I liked her determination to succeed.

"That's not all you like," said a familiar pixyish voice, a voice I knew belonged to Celebi.

"Come out," I demanded.

"Who are you talking to?" Lyra said in tentative voice.

I didn't really feel like explaining, especially after the long day. Even though I mentioned Celebi to Lyra, I'm pretty sure she confused my story with banter of some variety.

"I'll tell you later," I insisted.

"Hey melon-man, I'm clairvoyant. Try using your brain to communicate. All you have to do is think the thought and it will transmit to me. I know thinking is a novel concept for you but I'm sure you'll get used to it."

"You are insufferable," I said by way of mental transmission. "By the way, did you target me because I knew Gold?"

"I saw a picture of you, Lyra, and Gold in his wallet one day and I decided you two would make a cute couple. And of course you do. It's mostly because of her though."

"We aren't a couple yet."

"Yet," Celebi smirked. "So what you're telling me is that you are working on it. I thought you didn't like her that way."

I blushed fiercely. Fortunately for me, no-one in the group was looking at my face, a face that had a surfeit of seemingly haphazard expressions, expressions that were wildly inappropriate because I ostensibly wasn't talking to anyone.

"Stop blushing, melon-man."

"Stop calling me that. It was only natural to take a look or two."

"Or twenty," Celebi scoffed. "Look, I'll be around Ilex Forest if you ever want to come thank me in person for finding you an awesome girlfriend. Or you could just leave some chocolate at the shrine in Ilex Forest. I love milk chocolate. Don't leave dark chocolate though. That stuff is terrible."

"Okay, I'll bring you dark chocolate."

"I said no dark chocolate bonehead. Do you want to incur the wrath of a legendary Pokémon? I wouldn't mess with someone who can manipulate time. I can make your life like Groundhog Day."

"Whatever, I scoffed. Someone should learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Speaking of gifts, before I leave, I want to give you a special gift," Celebi said. "That gift would be a song."

"Don't you ever get tired of this routine?" I sighed.

"Silver and Lyra sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

As the song ended, Celebi's voice slowly and steadily faded away into nothingness. I looked over at Lyra, captivated by her radiant smile, thinking I should probably attempt to hold her hand, wondering if her coy wink was an invitation to do so.

Celebi was certainly a meretricious matchmaker but she was by no means a bad one.

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><p><strong>So this is the end of the story. Thanks to everyone to who has reviewed. Special thanks to Sapphiet and Exxon for reviewing every chapter. <strong>

**Thank you L100Meganium for your incredibly thoughtful reviews. I really benefited from your advice and I was even able to use a few of your tips in my story.**

**I'll probably be shifting my attention to one-shots for now, so I can get more content out. If anyone has any pairings then I'll be glad to consider them and I'll probably use them if I can come up with an acceptable story and plot. You can leave your pairings as a review or as a PM if you prefer.**

**Reviews about this story are always appreciated. I hope everyone enjoyed this story.**


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